After being a wife for 11 years and a mommy for 6.5, I've decided that I am one very conflicted person. I have these ideas of who I want to be. I know the type of wife and mommy that I imagine myself to be..... it conflicts greatly with the wife and mommy that I actually am.
For example, I imagine that I'm the mom that keeps the house so nice and organized. Everyone can find all their toys and shoes at any given moment. Things have homes and are never found out where they should not be. The house is regularly dusted and vacuumed, and the bathrooms sparkle at all times, and I always know what's for dinner. Enter reality. You can always find dishes in the sink, crumbs on the floor, toys everywhere, and the bathrooms are questionable. The location of shoes are a mystery (although one pair has been found), there are piles of junk everywhere, and who knows what we're eating tonight! I'm not sure if I'll ever become the organized wife and mother that I imagine. I'd like to think it's possible.
I imagine that I'm the type of mom who keeps the kids engaged in fun activities. I imagine they are so busy doing things with me that they never sit and watch TV. We have wonderful days full of laughter and creativity, smiles and activity. Enter reality. I'm so tired that half the time I let them entertain themselves while I force myself out of bed to do the basics of housework. We spend a lot of time sitting on the couch watching way too much TV. This summer I have a lot planned. I'm hoping the Imagined Mommy can make an appearance for the summer so the girls have some fun. Otherwise we'll waste the summer away sitting in our living room because I'm too tired to get them moving.
I imagine that I'm the wife and mom who always has patience. I never have a sharp word for my family. I endure their imperfections with happiness. Arguments between sisters don't bother me at all, and a husband who is lacking in some communication skills is not a problem. I'm always smiling and happy, and nothing can get under my skin. Enter reality. I'm sure I don't have to say much about this one! We'll just say that typical mother frustrations are very common in this house. Mommy isn't always happy.
I'm not sure how to get my reality a little closer to my imagination. I really want to be that mommy and wife that I imagine. If anyone has any ideas, I'm open to suggestions.
I don't know if I have any ideas. Maybe just try it one day at a time. So if you feel closer to your imagined self for a day or two then you won't feel so bad about regressing back to reality mom for a moment when the occassion calls for it. There's a huge gap between my mommy imagined self and reality self too!
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