Who am I?

Who am I?

That's a great question, one I'm trying to figure out myself.

I am mom - that's a given.  Some days it seems that's all I am.  Mom.  I fill cups, brush hair, and wipe bottoms.  I navigate arguments, work on homework, and fix toys.  I snuggle, rub aching limbs, and kiss boo boos.  I tickle, chase, and giggle.  I am mom.  But I should be more than that...

I am wife.  I stay at home with the kids.  I do laundry and dishes.  And then do more laundry and dishes.  And then again do more laundry and dishes.  Doesn't it seem like laundry and dishes multiply when you turn your back?  I make dinners, I shop for groceries.  I try to keep the house clean and organized, and I fail at that on a daily basis.  Is there more to me?

There used to be.  I used to do more than this.  I know it's a common phenomenon that moms tend to lose themselves in the daily struggle of keeping the family going.  So I'm working on finding myself again.  Who am I really?

Since this is my first blog post, I figured it's a good place to start.

I am a creative, artistic person.  I used to draw and paint.  I've gotten out of practice with that and I'm no longer very good.  But I can get it back if I work at it.  Now I scrapbook.  I love the freedom of creating, and the pride I feel when a project is finished and I can sit back and admit that it looks good.  Thinking about color schemes and balance in composition makes me happy.

I love to read.  Crime dramas are my favorite right now, but I'm also a sucker for a nice love story.  Reading is relaxing, and sometimes pretty intense.  I enjoy getting so wrapped up in a novel that I have a hard time putting it down at night.  And then when I finally do, I dream about the characters.  Do I need some professional help?  Maybe.....  The invention of the ebook reader is a wonderful thing.  I love my Nook.  The only problem - it's so easy to buy another book.  I'm going broke by reading.

I am a spiritual person.  Devotion to God shapes my life.  It molds my values and impacts my decisions on a daily basis.  It affects how I raise my kids.  It is a big part of who I am today.

I am a writer.  Now granted, I haven't really written anything in a very long time, but writing is my way of expressing myself.  I'm one of those verbally awkward people who stumbles over words and gets emotional easily, so I tend to write instead of talk.  Sometimes writing is the only way that I know how I truly feel about something.

So who am I?

Right now I'm lost in mom and wife mode.  I think a lot of us are.

But my kids are starting to grow up.  In the fall they will both be in school at least part of the day every day.  They still need me to be mom, but not all the time.  I am making goals for myself to help me round out my life.  I love being mom.  I love being wife.  But I also need to be me.